Monday, September 22, 2014

I hope this helps someone......

I'm not sure exactly what I am going to call this post but, I thought I would get out of my beauty, fashion, posts for a day and talk about something really personal for me which is Anxiety. Normally I would never post anything like this, but, for a long time I had no idea what I was going through, thought I was so weird, didn't know what was going on, so, finally I got to thinking... Many of you might be going through the same thing that I am right now, and maybe, I can help you guys who may have anxiety or my friends and family understand it a little bit more...

Ive had social anxiety since I graduated high school I would say. So about 5 years. But just in the past few years has it got intense. I would hope that this post helps people who struggle with it understand that you're not alone, need advice or someone else to understand! I really think that makes all the difference!


Anxiety is different for every single person. Not one persons anxiety is the same as someone else's thats why its so hard to understand. It took me a long time to understand that anxiety is 100% normal. Loads of people have it. You just have to figure out what works to get through it for you. I still am trying to figure this out. I get anxiety a lot with a load of people or people I don't know. I don't like to be in malls, schools, anything like that, even family parties. Its ridiculous like the closest people to me I don't feel comfortable around anymore. I get anxiety at work doing hair and even at the doctors office. I get anxiety when fighting with people, or even telling people how I feel if I am upset. I really only feel comfortable to talk to one person and it ruined our relationship because I would never say what I wanted to ever to anyone else, and just go home and complain to my boyfriend at the time and complain and cry and cry. But nothing he could do could help. Its so crazy. How hard is it to say that something someones doing is bothering you? It scares me lol. I get very overwhelmed very easily.
My mom would always say that I don't have anxiety, its just self-esteem issues. But its the total opposite. I had self esteem issues because of my anxiety. Its so confusing. I just don't like to be around people I don't know, even people I do know a lot of the time, like I said, I just don't feel comfortable. I feel like I'm being judged when no ones judging me. For a long time, I would put down every thing in my life with my friends, family, jobs, that I would want to do more than anything, its not that I didn't even want to, just because, I was scared I would get anxiety. Its just a scary thing to feel. It can't be controlled and it comes out of literally nowhere. There are total different types of anxiety to being nervous for a wedding to just being nervous for a test. Everyone has anxiety its just in different aspects in life and different people tolerate it different ways. Extremely high anxiety, in my case, can lead to panic attacks. Which is the scariest thing in the entire world for me.


When I get panic attacks they are two complete extremes. Either I am in bed, and I feel like someone is sitting on my chest, I can't breathe, I get crazy lightening bolt feeling chest pains, when this happens it comes out of nowhere. OR I can't breathe, I can't talk, I shake, my whole body goes numb, I don't understand people who are talking to me, cold sweats, shivers, ringing in my ears, feeling smothered, everything spins. It is literally the scariest thing in the entire world. 

What helps me with my panic attacks or anxiety in general, is just getting out of the situation and breathing. Deep breaths, and try not to think about anything. This may sound crazy. Just take the whole situation out of your head the best that you can and count. Count until it stops. You could be counting to 1,876. But I bet you it stops. Put your head between your knees and just breathe it out. 


The best thing I can do, is to just say yes. Honestly, just put my self out there. Its the absolute hardest thing for me and Im still trying to work it out. But, do things that scare you. The more you do it, the less it will scare you. I promise you! For me, I don't get much anxiety if I am driving to a place. That way if I want to leave I can leave. Its crazy, I just feel claustrophobic if I can't leave somewhere when I want to. I think everyone has their own ways of dealing with it. But like I said, this is mine. Its harder than it looks I know. But take things little by little. Im trying to this day to push through it. Why let anxiety get in the way of your life? Why let it get in the way of you being happy, meeting new people, having new relationships/jobs?!

If you're suffering from anxiety just know that you are not alone! Panic attacks, are scary, but believe me girlfriend, they won't kill you. You can work through them! Don't let anxiety put a damper on your self esteem or life. You are amazing and you can stop them! If someone you know, or are close with doesn't understand your anxiety, just honestly, kick them to the curb! Not literally but don't let it upset you. Only you understands what you are going through! Like, I said leave comments, message me on social media, email me, I AM HERE FOR YOU!

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